I am by nature, a private person. I don't want to share my heart with strangers. I'm not even sure the majority of the time if I want to share it with people I know. I love to laugh. I'm sarcastic. I'm sensitive. My idea of a heavenly day is a day ALONE. I'm learning to be more friendly and I'm capable of carrying on a pleasant conversation with a friend and even a stranger. I would just prefer not to. IT WEARS ME OUT! Not because the person I'm interacting with is in any way draining or unpleasant, I am just wired to get recharged by being alone. (Here is a link to a fun cartoon that describes introverts pretty well: http://www.fastcocreate.com/1683402/your-guide-to-interacting-with-an-introvert )
One thing I am learning is that God continually grows me by asking me to SHARE and be social. Oh how I would love it if He would be content to grow me where I'm comfortable. Never once have I grown in Christ without being taken somewhere unexpected, uncomfortable, and requiring steps of trust. Faith is funny that way. It's defined as "complete trust or confidence in someone or something". I CRAVE closeness with my God. I can't get it without complete trust & confidence in Him. I trust Him the MOST when He takes me where I don't want to go, mainly because I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TRUST.
So where am I going with this? Remember my last post about going private? Well, guess what God is asking me to do? Yep, He wants me to establish a relationship with the ENTIRE world wide web. Oh joy....really? He wants me to not just go back to being public but to be more REAL and VULNERABLE. ACK!!! (I'm pretty sure that's not even a word but it sums up my feelings on God's latest requirement of me.) I closed down the blog because our hearts were HURT. People who say they love us, hurt us. They took their "baggage" and whacked one of my precious children over the head with it. This momma bear can be fierce and shut down the blog out of hurt, anger, and a desire to protect her baby.
I don't know why God is asking me to share with you. I do know this, He wants me to trust Him with how others use it. I can only TRUST that He will use it to bless others and for every unpleasant reaction there will be at least one whose heart will be drawn to HIM in some way. My prayer life is going to grow, of that I am absolutely sure.